How Do I Know If It’s Time for Couples Therapy?
How Do I Know If It’s Time for Couples Therapy?
Written by: Janine ChengPublished on August 25, 2025Many couples have moments when the relationship feels heavier than it used to—when small disagreements turn into persistent conflict or when disconnection feels insurmountable.
Sometimes the hardest part is knowing: Is this just a rough patch or is it time to bring in help?
What I often tell couples is this: if you’ve been circling the same issues without resolution, if you feel you’ve lost your spark and are unsure how to rekindle it, if attempts at dialogue leave you feeling more alone than connected, therapy may be a logical next step.
The Couples We Work With at Atlas
Couples come to Atlas at many different points in their journey. Some arrive in the midst of high conflict—arguments that have left both partners depleted, on edge and unsure how to move forward. Others come after a history of multiple breakups or separations, hoping they can find a way to truly build trust and emotional safety.
Many couples who come our way are dealing with significant differences in attachment styles: one partner may crave closeness and reassurance, while the other needs more space and independence. Over time, especially when left unchecked, these differences can fuel painful cycles of pursuing and withdrawing. Our work helps these couples see these patterns for what they are—attempts to feel safe—and find ways of meeting in the middle.
For other couples, individual histories of trauma shape the relationship in ways that aren’t always obvious. Past betrayals, losses or difficult family experiences can make it harder to feel secure, vulnerable, or forgiving in the relationship or marriage. In therapy, we help partners honor these histories while also building the skills to create safety and trust in the present.
The Approaches We Use
At Atlas, we draw from several evidence-based approaches designed to help couples in distress not only resolve conflict but create a relationship that feels resilient and secure, one that can withstand and experience healthy conflict.
One of these approaches is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT helps partners understand and slow down long-standing cycles of conflict and uncover the deeper emotions driving them. Couples often come in believing they are fighting about chores, schedules, spending only to discover that beneath those conflicts lie longings to feel valued, cared for or safe with each other. Through EFT, couples learn to voice these underlying vulnerabilities and, in turn, experience their partner respond in new, healing ways.
We also integrate the Gottman Method, a research-based approach that gives couples practical tools for navigating conflict, strengthening friendship, and deepening intimacy. Many couples appreciate the balance this method provides: it addresses how to handle difficult conversations while also emphasizing the importance of shared meaning, rituals of connection and small daily acts of turning toward one another. Over time, couples begin to feel not only less adversarial, but more like true teammates in life.
And, just as important as the specific model, is the therapeutic relationship itself. Research consistently shows that it is the alliance—the sense of being understood, guided, and supported—that often predicts the greatest change. At Atlas, we make it a priority to create a space where both partners feel seen and safe.
Why Couples Therapy Works
The data backs up what I see every day in my office. Research shows that about 70–75% of couples who participate in therapy report significant improvements in their relationship. Nearly 90% notice better communication, and many report more intimacy and emotional closeness as well. Couples who engage in therapy are also less likely to divorce—some studies suggest the risk drops by nearly a third.
What these numbers don’t capture, though, is the lived experience: the sigh of relief when a couple has their first argument in session that doesn’t spiral out of control or the look on someone’s face when they feel truly heard by their partner for the first time in years. Therapy offers not just skills, but a different way of being together—one that feels safer, more connected, and more hopeful.
Taking the First Step
If you’re reading this and wondering whether it might be time for you and your partner to try couples therapy, consider this: you don’t need to wait until things feel unbearable. In fact, starting earlier often makes the work lighter and the results longer-lasting.
At Atlas, we believe every couple deserves the chance to thrive. If you’re feeling stuck, disconnected or simply curious about what your relationship might look like with more tools and support, reach out for a chat today. We look forward to learning more about you.
Citations
American Psychological Association. (2012). Couples therapy demonstrates effectiveness in treating relationship distress. APA Monitor on Psychology.
Johnson, S. M., & Greenman, P. S. (2006). The path to a secure bond: Emotionally focused couple therapy. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 62(5), 597–609.
Gottman, J., & Gottman, J. S. (2015). 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy. W. W. Norton.
Verywell Mind. (2023). Relationships Survey: Over 1,100 adults share their experiences with couples counseling.
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