Every couple has moments when the relationship feels heavier than it used to—when small disagreements turn into seemingly irreversible patterns or when disconnection feels insurmountable. Sometimes the hardest part is knowing: Is this just a rough patch or is it time to bring in help?

If you’ve spent any time on social media, you’ve probably heard about attachment styles. Attachment theory can be a helpful way to better understand your approach to dating. It can build insight into patterns in your behavior, thoughts and emotions and can clarify paths towards shifting these same patterns.

Finding a therapist is hard. Here some suggestions to get you started!